


An ode to good old fashioned hand holding

by Saramustdie



Series: An ode to poor romantic skills. [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sexual surrogacy therapy, Shy Gerard Way, sexual surrogacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 21:44:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15422250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saramustdie/pseuds/Saramustdie
Summary: The first sexual surrogacy therapy session takes place.





	An ode to good old fashioned hand holding

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so surprised to see that so many people liked this and showed some love! honestly thank you I do hope I don't let you down on the rest of the series. 
> 
> I was going to do this a weekly thing but I'm feeling generous so here you go :p <3

Gerard found himself a bit fidgety as he approached his intimacy coach’s house. This was the second time they ever saw each other. The medical assisted sex agency called over to get him his address and he was surprised to know that they actually lived kind of near each other. He knocked on the dark green front door and waited.

Frank opened the door with a warm smile, making him feel like he had been waiting excitedly for him. “Hi! Come on in.” he allowed him to walk in.

“Hi, it’s uh- nice to see you again.” Gerard said out of nervousness.

“It is. I was looking forward to our talk. Have a seat.” Gerard nodded and sat down on a puffy couch behind him, Frank sat down in front of him with a notepad resting on his lap. “Okay,” He sighed. “So Gerard…” He looked down as if he was trying to concentrate. “We’re gonna talk a little about why you chose this form of therapy so that we can set the expectations we need to meet and settle the limits that you might have.” Frank nodded waiting for Gerard to answer.

“Okay, well I am…a virgin.” He started slowly waiting for Frank’s reaction, but he just nodded again still looking engaged in the conversation. “I’m twenty – and I’ve been in very short term relationships because I believe that when it’s time for something else to happen aside from very light kisses I just blow the relationship up, make excuses in my head to push them away before things can go in a sexual path. I was sexually abused as a child, so that is the reason why I’ve followed this pattern for the entirety of my life.” Frank seemed to understand and really listen, he wrote some stuff on his notepad as if he was already figuring out how to attack these issues.

“I see, so how far have you gone with your past partners?” Frank asked leaning back into the chair with his legs crossed.

“Well, without my consent, there was a time where this guy I dated went from a kiss to just roaming…my body and I just freaked out.”

“What exactly happened when ‘you freaked out’?” Frank replied immediately wanting to get the details on how extreme his anxiety or panic would be as soon as they engaged on the physical part of the therapy sessions.

“Well I kind of had a full on panic attack as soon as I was reminded of what had happened to me, and I slapped they guys arm, pushed them away, avoided them for days.” Gerard rambled getting anxious at the mere fact of remembering how things went down.

“Alright then, now let’s talk boundaries so that we can avoid that anxiety that I can see you experiencing now.” Frank chuckled which relaxed Gerard a little, he looked down at his lap.  “Okay, so how do you feel about kissing?” He asked first.

“I- Yeah I wouldn’t be opposed to kissing.” Gerard said looking up at him with bright eyes, he was about to confess that he would agree to it since he was actually attracted to the man so he would make an effort at pushing himself into doing it.

“How about being naked, remember that yes, we’d be naked but no, it does not automatically mean sex, we would be just touching, massaging, and exploring each other.” He explained with very wide hand gestures.

“I think that if we go slowly, I could open up to everything. “

“Alright, and I’m guessing that we’re still hesitant on the actual sex am I correct?”

“You are correct, yes.” Frank smiled gently, letting him know with his expression that it was okay and he was not going to be pushed into something he did not want to do.

“After all this is something we’re doing to heal, Gerard so guess what? We’re gonna moved at your own pace.” He took a final note and then placed the notebook away. Frank let him know an estimated of the sessions they would have to have, they summed up for a month and a half, of course if things went faster he’d be ‘free’ quicker. They decided to start up with the first physical session since they had settled the basics and took place on the couch where Gerard had been sitting by himself previously. “Alright, so we’re gonna move on with the first stages of intimacy, which involves just touching and holding hands, are we comfortable with that?” Gerard nodded clumsily and took Frank’s hands as he offered them to Gerard to hold. “I’m going to touch you first, I want you to relax and just feel…”He said lowly as he ran his fingertips over Gerard’s palms and long fingers feeling how he was almost shaking. “Does this make you uncomfortable?” He whispered.

“No, it’s quite relaxing, I just have to warm up to…the feeling.” Frank smiled looking up at him for that second then went back to focus on his hands, he went up to his wrist and followed the pattern of his veins.

“Feel how nice this is, we’re just sitting, all peace and quiet no pressure to talk or do anything else really.” Frank continued talking in that voice that actually made him sleepy from how low and relaxing it was. It did feel very intimate, he felt how he slowly gained confidence with the man. “Alright now, I want you to touch me.” Gerard opened his eyes and looked at his inked hands, he held them between his own as he analyzed the words, then he imitated Frank’s movements running his fingertips gently all around them going up to his arms. “That’s nice Gerard. Just do what you’re comfortable with.” He reassured and hummed enjoying the contact of their warm skin. After a couple of minutes Frank stopped him by grabbing his hands and intertwining their fingers. “Alright, now’s time for cuddles!” He said enthusiastically. Gerard giggled and nodded waiting for him to give him instructions.

“Okay so since I know that it’s kind of too fast to move on to the bed, we’re going to stay right here. “ Frank said shuffling on the couch so that they were both facing to the front as one of those teenage couples watching movies waiting for the other one to make the first move. “I’m going to wrap my arm around you if that’s okay.”

“Yes, that is fine.” He said trying to stop his adrenaline and remember how it felt when a family relative would hold him or hug him on the holidays, when he just couldn’t get away with not being affectionate.

Frank slowly snaked his arm around Gerard’s shoulders and caressed his shoulder, he could feel how the therapist was looking at his face, he was so close now and did make him a bit uncomfortable just because of the mere fact that he was not used to this at all.

“Alight now, feel the heat of my body, and how I lean into you. Isn’t it nice to just…” He sighed getting his other arm involved caressing Gerard’s left side. “Feel the weight of another body? This is what calms a baby in distress, feeling their mothers arms, holding them close to their chest…making them feel protected.” He continued talking lowly as I they were telling each other secrets, as if they were two silly teens rolling around in bed confessing how much they loved each other and it did, _feel nice._

“It’s quite comforting, yes.” Gerard replied in a whisper. If Frank was to apply a little bit more pressure he knew he’d be triggered being remembered of his body being held down and forced into staying in place while something he did not want to happen, took place.

“Now I would like to feel you, get involved Gerard.” He was a little put off this time around since he did not get an exact instruction on what should he do, so he brought his hand over to Frank’s arm. He knew his touch was kind of awkward and pretty much like a nerdy guy touching their crush for the first time, which was partially the case here.

Gerard ran his hand up and down slowly as Frank hummed seeming to enjoy the touch which pleased Gerard in a way. “So I know that you’ve also chosen this form of therapy for your thesis, would you like to ask me some stuff?” Frank asked lowly without stopping the light touches, he knew Gerard was shy and maybe too afraid to ask, but he cared for him and he wanted to help in any way he could.

“Umm well…” He had to bring himself to concentrate again. “Well, what other type of uh patients have you helped in the past?” Frank ran his fingers through Gerard’s strings of hair slowly and hummed trying to form an answer.

“I’ve treated man and woman on wheelchairs, people with Asperger's syndrome, and of course people with emotional trauma.” Frank explained shortly.

“And for example, with the people who have to use wheelchairs, maybe their lower half’s are not-“

“Working?” Frank asked with a knowing smile, Gerard nodded blushing. “Well, for physically disabled people, this type of therapy is more about the intimacy, like what we’re doing right now, since it would probably be an experience they could never have, it’s not so much about going all the way, a lot of them know beforehand that they’ll just never be able to do it.” Frank explained kindly.

“Have they all finished their therapy satisfied?”

“I haven’t had any complains.” Frank smiled cheekily.

 


End file.
